Let's Hear Your Love Lingo!!!!
11:00
Love languages lingo are ways through which people feel love has been expressed to them satisfactorily. Over time, we wonder why people are either not phased by gifts, compliments and/or accolades, or
taking time out to spend with them. It really doesn't mean that they do not see or appreciate the efforts, it just might be that you are not speaking love to them in the language they understand. According to Dr Chapman's extensive research, it was found that people's expectations of how their loved ones should show them love differs as uniquely as individuals differ. Although, most people have more than one love language, we all have the primary and secondary which pulls most weight, or catches our attention readily when compared to the others.
There are five (5) major love languages based on Dr Chapman's findings and we'll go through everyone of them.
1. Words of Affirmation: The importance of appreciation can not be over emphasized, but more so when it is to a person who's love language is when you speak words of praise, appreciation or compliments.
"You look so beautiful" or "Thanks for getting the door for me" or "Don't I have the best employee or spouse or partner in the whole world" could be spread warmth through them like hot chocolate on a freezing day. It makes people whose core love language this is, to feel loved and they go the extra mile to keep pleasing their partner(s) if you keep dishing out words of affirmation.
2. Quality Time: When a person's love language is quality time, they require your undivided attention and totally enjoy time spent together. Some of us, especially women, pride ourselves in our ability to multitask; you can't be taking selfies, updating your Instagram or Facebook and still claim to be giving your undivided attention to a person whose love meter runs on quality time.
For some, plan to see or speak to them as regularly as possible; a person whose love lingo is quality time wouldn't care if it's 10 mins or 10 hours, all that matters is that you spent time giving them your undivided attention. Or when your best friend or partner walks in and begins to speak to you, stop whatever you're doing and listen attentively, be interested in what they say and watch how your relationship blossoms.
3. Acts of Service: No matter how you speak words of praise or spend all the time giving undivided attention, it would just bounce off the head of anyone whose primary love language is acts of service. Getting the door for them, stopping by the mall to get them something they'd need, helping to clear the table after meals, cooking dinners on weekends, etc would shoot a person's love tank to overflow if their primary love lingo is just doing simple acts of service. It doesn't matter how huge or little the act is, when a person's primary love lingo is acts of service, it means the world to them.
4. Gifts: I remember years ago, my friend's sister was upset for some reason and the only way she could get forgiven was when she bought her a sister a gift. It was a token, maybe candy or a cup of ice cream; I didn't understand how she succumbed cheaply to ice cream. But what my friend knew that I didn't know was her sister's love language.
It worked like magic; all was forgiven and she did everything she was asked to do for a while afterwards. That is exactly what happens when a person's primary love lingo is receiving gifts, their love store house is filled over and again when they get gifts. So maybe your partner is not greedy, her love language just might be receiving gifts. It doesn't matter how expensive or inexpensive the gifts are, it is the thought that matters.
5. Physical Touch: Holding hands, a touch here, a kiss there, a hug just for the sake of it etc. would communicate love clearly to a person whose primary love language is physical touch. Although touch is important in a relationship, it is more so to a person whose love meter runs higher when they are touched tenderly.
Understanding your partner's love language goes a long way in helping to deal with relationship issues. This knowledge helps one to have a better relationship and resolution of conflicts. As a couple, both parties should do their best to know their partners and daily give their attention to what works for each other.
I took my love language test as set up by Dr Chapman, click here to have yours done too.
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