Baby, let's harmonize!!!
12:20According to the Free Dictionary, Harmony in a relationship is defined as a relationship characterized by a lack of conflict or by agreement, as of opinion or interest. It is an order of parts to a whole or to one another, working together to achieve a common goal.
too far in the relationship(s). More often than not, we just assume that because the other party possesses all the qualities on our ‘Perfect Partner Shopping List’, then everything is just alright. Aren’t we almost always wrong?
Finding a partner is more than just ticking off on the check list, it involves a lot of painful and exhilarating processes. The need to date someone who shares our beliefs and core values is absolutely amazing, but is that sufficient enough?
Take for instance, you want a God-fearing, spirit filled, born again Christian as a partner. There are a lot of Christians in that category, I assure you. The problem is how do they perceive God? Is it in the same way you do? Do you feel Christians should pray without ceasing and your partner would rather study the word of God and be still to hear God minister to him/her?
Bearing in mind, that you are both Christians, there is already a disharmony spiritually. Opposite attracts, but only in magnetic fields.
Do you wish to acquire a financial partner who is willing to make great investments? These days, a lot of young people are very wise at investments, but there are risk takers and there are some who would rather apply caution. Cautious people, I assure you, have loads of reasons why their caution makes a better approach to investments than the risk taker’s instinctive feeling to go all in. Bear in mind, that both parties are great investors, but there is already a disharmony in their approach to wealth acquisition.
Do you love to dance and have a great time, so it is normal that this new friend has to possess this trait, right? Unlike your friend though, you just don’t think it has to be every weekend. You feel a night out occasionally is alright, but doing every weekend just isn’t your idea of a great life. Both of you love to dance and go out, but see how it is not on the exact same schedule.
Do you get the whole idea behind harmony now?
Communication is the only way to be assured of harmony in relationships, but it is advisable to consider the points listed below in our bid for harmony;
- Understanding: Ensure that all parties understand what is obtainable in the relationship. It is not enough to just assume that they should know what is expected of them.
- Be Realistic: Your partner may not be in perfect harmony with you, but there are some traits you can tolerate. Make a table of pros and cons, decide what you can live with and be happy.
- Agreement: This is the true essence of harmony, to agree concerning issues. Make sure that even though your partner understands you, you both find a solution or plan that everyone agrees with.
In my opinion, it is not enough to have tags, for example Christians, Diplomats, Intelligence, 'Go-getter' etc. What is important is, even though your values are exactly the same, ascertain that your thoughts or opinions on those values are in sync.
This is not to say being in a relationship with someone who has qualities that you do not have but compliments you is bound to fail. Of course not!
My point is that we try not to just stop at the title, but to take a step further to understand our partners’ perspective and then AGREE on what is viable for both of you.
That is harmony! Reaching an agreement in spite of the differences or similarities that caused us to wish to establish a relationship in the first place.
xxxx
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