JIB Hearts: WHEN YOU ARE YOUR OWN EX

07:00

Your Own Ex

That picture was my friend, Esther's BBM display picture; when I saw it, tears welled up in my eyes*lol, I'm a cry baby*. The depth of the words on there was so profound that....mehn... I just
couldn't handle it. How long have we stayed mad at an ex whose only offence was been in a relationship that didn't work out, when in the real sense of it all, We ARE OUR OWN EX(ES)? How does that make any sense at all?
It means that we go around carrying all the baggage, remaining the same person we have always been and expecting to get different outcomes. We keep pointing fingers, playing the victim when all this time, we should have been grateful for the opportunity to better ourselves. We keep going into different relationships with the same mindset, rather than learning about this new love interest...YOU! We need to grow, refine our choices, character, behaviour....just plain evolve. We need to work on recognizing who we are now and shirk those those ties to who we were.
Do you notice how I keep typing, "WE" and not "YOU"? 
That's because I had never, ever, considered this angle before. How leaving that relationship, the hurtful feelings of loneliness and rejection could have been me trying to ignore the truth about myself. What if all that pain is just stuck in my head, what if daydreaming about the faceless guy is just me setting myself up for hurt again...because there I go again, creating the man while I should be recreating myself. Picking up lessons,cleaning up wounds and decorating the scars just so I'd not keep on holding ties to who I was and begin to love the woman I have become.
Holding on to the hurt is same as walking around in circles, you'd keep ending up at the same point. If all them relationships turned sour, maybe..just maybe, you helped too. See, I can't emphasize enough how you need to shirk your old ways and look to become better.  
Step back from it all and honestly tell me that you're all innocent, that your "standards" of what you deem acceptable didn't hurt more than it helped. It's great to have standards and principles to live by, I have some too...the point is that per time, as you go through major changes and  take life-altering decisions, look through said standards just so you don't keep living by what was applicable to who you were when you should blossom as you are.
It's always sad to end a relationship, whether ugly or great, because there were good times in every relationship that went sour.  So it's understandable for one or both parties to be hurt, but as soon as we possibly can, one needs also to ACCEPT that the said relationship is done. Acceptance is the first sign of healing from the pains, heart break et cetera, which we acrue from a lost relationship. This also helps one to step back from the whole feeling of rejection and "victimization" to take a shot at logical consideration of all that led to the demise of the relationship. When one begins this process of acceptance, one begins to pool together the lessons learnt, because no matter how smooth or rough the ride was, there's definitely gonna be something new that was learnt...and these lessons altered who we were going in to shapen us into who we've become after the relationship....

xxxx

#Love
#Dating
#Exes
#MovingForward
#Relationships

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